May 7, 1999
Escondido resident Heather Cruz, who lived in a state of virtual imprisonment for four years as a victim of domestic violence, will received the Mimi's Cafe's Second Chance Award for escaping the cycle of abuse and serving as an inspiration to other women. To help pursue her dreams of working with other victims of domestic violence, Crus also received a surprise $1,000 grant during the award ceremony and luncheon held May 6 at Mimi's Café in Oceanside
Mimi's Café's Second Chance program honors and provides financial assistance to women who have successfully removed themselves from abusive relationships and are starting anew. Funds for the grant are raised from proceeds of the sale of Mimi's signature French onion soup. Cruz is one of five women in the nation to be honored during the Mimi's Cafe's Second Chance Award ceremonies taking place during April and May.
During the luncheon to be held in her honor, Cruz had the opportunity to share her story with women from the Saint Clare's Home, a domestic abuse shelter for women and children, and encourage them to avoid the same mistakes she made.
"I stayed in an abusive relationship because I had a difficult childhood and thought that my boyfriend was my knight in shining armor," remarked Cruz. "Instead, he abuse me and my life became a nightmare. I fooled myself into believing that he would change, but he didn't. I want to share my story with women who are afraid to leave and show them the reality of domestic abuse."
Cruz hid the secret of abuse behind the closed doors of their seemingly "normal" home and endured emotional and physical abuse from her boyfriend, who was possessive and controlling. When Cruz met him at 22 years of age, she had already been involved in a number of destructive personal relationships. Having endured physical and mental abuse as a child, Cruz admits now that she had a distorted view of what a loving and caring relationship really was.
"I had no idea that my boyfriend had any violent tendencies, but shortly after my daughter and I moved in with him, he became very jealous and controlling," recalled Cruz. "He demanded that I cook, clean and maintain my appearance and held me to an impossible standard. I tried my best to keep him happy, but it didn't matter because he became increasingly angry. Soon he started to physically punish me for any infraction of his rules. Although I suffered many black eyes and broken bones, I stayed with him because he took care of me and this was the only kind of love I had ever know."
Her boyfriend's temper was unpredictable and violent. Oftentimes, he woke her in the middle of the night to instigate arguments, which usually ended in brutality. However, in an effort to keep her family together, Cruz remained with her boyfriend until one particularly horrific incident that changed her life.
"After a year, I was used to his violent outburst," continued Cruz. "They occurred at least once a week and I was constantly walking on pins and needles. But in my mind, I though that living with him under these circumstances was justified because he loved me. Plus, it was better than trying to make it on my own. On one occasion, he provoked a quarrel and started to yell at me. I saw a crazed look in his eyes and without warning, he lunged at me and pinned me down on the floor, grabbed me by the neck and choked me until I nearly passed out. At that moment I thought I was going to die."
According to Cruz, as she faded in and out of consciousness, she had an epiphany. She realized that the uncertainty of losing the roof over her head was not nearly as frightening as losing her life at the hands of her boyfriend. She survived the vicious attack and escaped with her daughter the following day to the St. Clare's Home in Escondido, where she has lived for the last two years. Cruz has since been able to build up her self esteem and has gained her independence. She recently started working at a local manufacturing office and tirelessly volunteers to help other victims of domestic abuse.
"I feel lucky that my daughter and I have survived the ordeal," concluded Cruz. "I feel that it is my responsibility to share my experiences with victims of domestic violence to show them that there is a way out and give them hope."
Since 1998, Mimi's Café has been assisting victims of domestic violence and offering them a fresh start with the Second Chance program. Working in conjunction with local women's shelters, Mimi's Café's Second Chance hosts motivational luncheons for domestic abuse survivors and provides monetary grants to those who have successfully escaped the cycle of abuse. Proceeds from the sale of Mimi's Café signature French onion soup go toward the Second Chance fund.
Boasting a Hollywood history now well known to many, Mimi's Café have been serving patrons since 1978. Arthur Simms, who conceived the idea behind Mimi's Café, is a veteran restaurateur who was the driving force of the MGM Commissary during the Golden Age of Hollywood. Feeding the likes of Clark Gable, Judy Garland, Jean Harlow, Mickey Rooney and other legendary luminaries was an everyday event for Simms. With Mimi's Café, his dream was to continue the tradition he established at MGM of treating every patron like a star, and that dream continues to be carried out to this day by his son, Thomas Simms, and the entire Mimi's team of employees.
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